An experienced horse person might read about my first successful crack at a course and scoff.
If I was bothered by that, it might serve to minimise the sheer joy I can still tap into when I think about it.
Luckily: not bothered.
In the same way, there’s a lot of chat on socials about how there’s no need to be beat yourself up for being unproductive during this time out of time.
Yup! Do not ever beat yourself up for anything.
And yet, on the flip side, if you are managing to do stuff, then well done, you.
The Irish have a salty saying along the lines of Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back. Ugh. I’ve been posting because time is suddenly on my side again, and in a way it’s as much mental time as it is physical time. It’s not like I don’t have days when I’m routinely WFH, but something about the collapse of typical timeframes has allowed me the headspace to post with abandon. (Funny how that ‘time as an artificial construct’ concept is proving itself these days.)
The biggest thing is my gratitude for having a programme and yet further realisation that the way it works is very much in the way my horseriding works. Even when I’m not thinking about either, I am doing some of the things I need to do. I remind myself of a slogan; I look where I am going. I read a page a day; I keep my hands and heels down.
Repetition and dedication result in new learned behaviours, both of which enhance my way of going, on horseback and in life.
Not gonna lie, though, One Day at a Time in Al-Anon is tougher than any instructor I’ve ever had. I’ve been back to consulting the day’s page since sheltering in place began, and sometimes it’s like being knocked backwards in my chair. Oof! It’s also great to see what doesn’t affect me: I’ve come across more than one dog-eared page and its contents didn’t resonate any longer.
I’ll take that as a victory.