I began this post on 21st May. I’m leaving it as and adding to it now, in June.
Horses give out only that which they receive because, as prey, they are prepared to react to changes in their surroundings. They have evolved as a species due to this alertness and preparedness. “Horses have ensured their…survival through highly sensitive observational skills and intuitive responses,” writes Equine Experiential Learning facilitator Wendy Golding, for the online magazine Equine Leadership. “Unlike humans who rely mainly on their intellect, horses access the wisdom of their entire bodies, allowing them to read and respond to all the energies around them.” The energies of the rider are a significant aspect of the horse’s environment; even non-horsey people are aware that a horse can pick up on their nerves. If you’re calm and controlled, they will be as well; if you’re shaking in your boots…well, things can get messy.
I have reacted quite strongly to the rage of those who feel their desires are more important than the wellbeing of others. It’s been the benefit of years of the programme and the development of compassion that I can look at that strong reaction with detachment.
I see all that rage and I become enraged. And I look at my rage and see my own fear. And then I see their fear. Fear that life as they know it is over. Fear that they will lose all they have.
Underneath the rage about the haircuts is the fear they are unattractive without them.
Underneath the fear of not being able to sit down at a restaurant is the fear of never being dominant over someone else (God bless their servers) and of not being able to feed themselves — or, of having to actually make their own food for themselves.
And then I get all enraged all over again about the open carry and the police just standing there, imagining if it were people of colour screaming in their faces — and I get so, so enraged all over again about oppression on all levels it’s amazing I can breathe. And I write that and I feel all the complicated stuff I wrote about, up in that block quote.
^ 10 June That’s where I ended three weeks ago. Yeah.
Not gonna lie: my compassion flows far more easily for groups speaking out about their true oppression and suffering.
Right now I’m working on how to turn that compassion into action. I am a believer in petition-signing and have been doing so as regards everything I support for however long we’ve been doing that now (mass intention is a thing). I am donating where I can. I am reading a tonne — my natural default. I’d like to go beyond all this, I’d like to incorporate horses into it and enable their unique healing power to be experienced by BIPOC. I have no idea on this day, 10 June 2020 how that is going to manifest, but I’ve made entire books out of nothing but thoughts, so… okay. I said that. Watch this space.