NO PARTRIDGES  Also, one broken long whip, one slightly broken long whip, a short whip, four pairs of gloves—!— sheesh.

People [taxi men] always say, isn’t horseriding expensive, and I’m like, no, once you get the stuff, you’re sorted.

But I like the stuff, so I keep buying it.

The thing with the gloves, though. That’s something of a story.

See, what happened was, I thought I lost my new pair of MacWet riding gloves. This site is swiftly turning into an advertisement for these gloves, but they are the business. When I received my new pair of MacWet gloves, I had also received a voucher for another pair half price.

So I lost the gloves, and thought I’d avail of the offer. I never did get around to it, though.

Meanwhile, I had had to buy some new jodhs, and the site on which I shop had some suede gloves on sale. Like, less than a tenner. So, you know, I bought them.

I had been using some summer weight gloves, which I washed, and then one of them went missing. I don’t have a laundry room, or a dryer — my machine does double duty, and is one of those European, fit-under-the counter jobs — so ‘went missing’ is a bit of a stretch.

Anyway, the new suede gloves came, and I hated them. They have a rubbishy elastic thingie around the wrist, and they are scratchy, and they make my hands sweat. And they’re a little large, so the sweaty hands start shifting around in the gloves, and the hold on the reins is not so great.

So I rang MacWet and ordered my new gloves.

As well as a pair of winter weight, Climatec gloves.

So, two pairs.


Then, one day I had the urge to go swimming, which I haven’t had much time for. I unpacked the bag that had my swimsuit in it, which I had brought to Bath when I went on that course… and, uh, there was the first pair of gloves. See, there was a pool at the university, but I had booked in that ride out, and I never did go swimming at all, and I… well I forgot I had put the gloves in that bag.

That is why I have four pairs of gloves. The End.

I dug out a pair of jeans that I hadn’t been wearing — I’d gone off them, you know how it is — and dangling by its velcro from some stitching on the back pocket was the other summer weight glove.