BUT NOT AS IN BONE! GEEZ! Tuesday was rather blowy; I’m wondering if that’s what Ireland’s global warming reality is going to be from now on. Maybe I didn’t notice before because I’m only living on the coast for two years. Maybe didn’t notice before because I didn’t spend significant time on a top of a mountain in a tin can of an indoor arena on the back of a large, skittish animal.
Anyway. The above is essentially the head I brought in to Tuesday’s lesson, and whilst I wasn’t completely out of it, I did consistently make some lazy arse turns at F, and at the end of the lesson, during the quick re-cap we often get, I was told that ‘it just wasn’t good enough.’
I was delighted! Kind of like: whoa, but also just feckin’ thrilled.
Now, trust me, I am not the sort that welcomes the adverse opinions of others with open arms. I hate when clients tell me to change something [good thing graphic design is no longer my burning ambition…] Don’t pass comment on my outfit — although, tcha, there’s rarely anything to criticise there. Art school was tough, given that we were openly pilloried before our peers every day for four years.
So what’s this? Well. I really do want to keep improving. I suppose the best way to know you’ve got somewhere to go is by being pulled up when you’re not getting there. I think, though, it’s because I hold my instructors in such high esteem, that if they think I’m not being good enough, that means they think I can be better, and if they think I can be better, well: damn!
Now, mind you, it’s not like I got yelled at. In fact, one might say it all the worse for the quietness and seriousness of the phrase’s delivery [I got a chill!] Upon hearing it, I was immediately filled with this bouyant kind of excitement. It’s just not good enough — because I can be better! I wanted to wiggle around on Rebel’s back, with glee.
So my conclusion is manifold. I myself know I can be better. I have, perhaps [oh, a little, a very little] let go of some of that pesky ego. I am maturing: I’m certainly not going to quit [I’ve left jobs with less provocation.] And yes, some days are better than others, some days are just ‘off’, but there was something about this event that has fired me up.
Uh oh. I wonder if there’s a fourth day in my future?