The Undeniable Nowness of Blogging

WITH ALL DUE APOLOGIES, ETC My lessonmates are still asking me about my holiday in Seville, and it occurs to me that, well, the writing’s okay, but it lacks that feeling of being there. Unlike many of my other posts, even the ‘historical’ ones. I’m pretty sure I know why that’s the case.

Ach, they’re not terrible or anything, but they lack that feeling of either well-digested retrospect, or that feeling of ‘it just happened, an hour ago.’ Given my last minute decision, I didn’t have all the information that was perhaps shared with those who had booked well in advance, and gotten more of a heads up about what was on offer. I’m talking specifically about the fact that Epona has wireless capabilities, and that I could have brought my laptop.

I’m not sorry I wasn’t humping the thing around; besides, Macha [er, that’s her name, btw] is my main work computer, and the last thing I needed was to be worrying about her the whole time, from plane to train and in reverse. But I see how the experience could have been more essential, had I been writing about everything as soon as things happened.

And there wasn’t the feeling of having truly let the experience settle in, to look at it from a distance with the same energy that many of my more hindsight oriented posts express.

I’m delighted that so many people have found my blog through searching for the Spanish equestrian centre, and I highly recommend the place, without reservation. It’s not even the simple fact of the fifteen hours of riding in five days that proved so helpful to me. It was an entirety: the decision, the journey, the ‘being there’, the way that it allowed me to be see how adventurous I still am, how I’m beginning to allow things back in my life that recent life circumstances had proscribed— it was a gestalt, if you will.

So I can be less critical towards myself; so the writing’s just okay… well, okay. What it certainly shows me is that the experience of this horsey experience is, for me, about the other riders around me, the personalities of the horses, my interaction with everyone and every creature, and how much fun it is to be in this situation, how rich it is, how much it changes from lesson to lesson, and how great it is altogether.

We were all bunged in the indoor today, a raw, gray day, and despite four adults circling one end and nine kids circling the other, it actually worked out pretty well. At one stage, the adults were on the left rein, and the girls were on the right, and as we came down the ‘long’ side, I looked over and there was Isabelle trotting in tandem with me. We just grinned at each other, a feeling of: aren’t we great? Isn’t this the greatest thing in the world?

And boy, is it ever. It happens every week, now three times a week for me, and every hour is all about ‘now’, and I think from now on, I’ll be taking a broader view, seeing the now within the bigger picture, and we’ll see where that goes.

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