A Story of Addiction, Dysfunction, Codependency… and Horses
22, SEPTEMBER 2007 Yeeeeah, there’s that cynicism that I mentioned. It’s the part of me that stands outside of experience— any experience— coolly observes throughout, and then proceeds to examine it to death, mostly, I suppose, to stop me over-emoting in any given situation. Which is, in turn, ridiculous because I come at everything, every …
Continue reading "Some La-La Land of Inter-Species Mind Meld"
THE STUFF THEY WRITE ABOUT IN BOOKS Smoking out front of Dakota with Fiachra and Karl at Brenda’s emigration-to-Australia do, the talk turned to horses— I didn’t do it! Did I? How is it that anybody talks to me anymore? I tell this story: Nikki walks into the barn with the list. I’d been thinking— …
MY SECOND LESSON [16 SEPTEMBER, 2007] I’ve been thinking about trotting all week. Everyday. Waiting for the bus, walking to get a salad at lunch, staring ahead of myself, bored, at work. Some of the seemingly unintelligible sounds issuing from the mouth of last Saturday’s instructor [this is the correct term, not teacher] appear to …
I suppose I could have reminded Fiona that I'd asked for Charlie. I am rather more... assertive than many of the other riders, when it comes to the allocation of school horses. But, eh, I don't know— no, I do know. I'm putting off my trial-by-Charlie until— until whenever. So Fiona says, 'You're on Rebel,' …
I’ll probably be on Charlie tonight. You can’t miss him: his 17hh frame notwithstanding, he’s got presence, elegance, he’s sensitive, he’s a gentleman. He’s also a bugger to ride. For me, anyway. I watch everybody else when they’re on him, and they’re fine. I’d had my eye on him for ages, knowing that I’d have …
18 SEPTEMBER, 2007 ‘Where’s Delilah?’ Nikki hitched a saddle up under her oxter. ‘Don’t know.’ I hate it when I can’t find one of the horses. I think the worst, immediately: she’s hurt, she’s dead— she died and I didn’t get to say goodbye— ‘Not in the stalls?’ ‘I checked. I’ll look in the back, …
9 SEPTEMBER, 2006 The wee girls circle round and round, legs pounding the sides of their ponies, and I am feeling breathless. As excited as I was to take my first horse riding lesson, well— I’d actually have to be on a horse to have it, and they’re big, aren’t they, and watching those kids …
MARCH, 2007 I have finally gone beyond standing next to the horse like a pillock. A great, stupid, beginner pillock. A pillock looking gormless [although by definition one doubts a pillock can be considered to have gorm], waiting to be told to get up there, instructor bringing over the block, holding the horse, leaning on …
No one was more surprised than I when, after about six months of riding, I hadn't written a word about it. Not so much as a stickie bearing a scrawled notion. One year on, and I'm organising my stories, about coming to riding late [laaaaaaaate], about going completely and totally horse-fecking-mental, about reading all that …
MANY BRAVE FOOLS 