THE LAST MISSED SATURDAY OF 2007 Posting from Dublin Airport, in the shockingly revolting Ryanair wing, bracing myself for the riot to board the plane, off to London for the weekend. I will, of course, miss the horses tomorrow, but it's good to take a break, somewhat in the same way I've gotten better after …
Riding Out Sucks
JUNE 2007 Riding out sucks. It’s boring. Up the road, down the road, up the road, good luck if your mount has the munchies, spending half the time in walk, it is dull, dull, dull— And it scares me stupid. My first walk out— and in fairness, I had no business being on the back …
Gran Feckin’ Prix, Baby!
DECEMBER 2006 ‘Anybody ever jumped before?’ Are you kidding me? It’s December, the middle. I have been riding for… thirteen weeks? Twice a week now since the middle of November so that’s more like sixteen weeks if you count the other days as weeks, as one lesson per week, and— oh, stop it. I’m still …
Fall the Second
26 MAY, 2007 I’d had Tango once before, in a small class of only three. I got up, he immediately began stepping backwards. I’m trying to get the length of the leathers right— ‘Tango!’— I keep letting out the reins, kicking him on, he stops, I adjust a stirrup, he dances back. Bugger. We get …
I’m a Hussy
I love Rebel. He’s a lovely dun colour, and he’s feisty, playful, he kicks up a bit, he lets me know when I’m doing something he doesn’t like, but he’s willing, so willing, and he jumps like a dream. His canter—oh, his canter is just perfect, I’ve never felt so centred in the canter, and …
See You Next Tuesday
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR Last night, my lesson mates and I, during a diatribe by the instructor [unintentionally provoked by yours truly], were implicitly lumped in with ‘some people’, who take up horse riding in order to look pretty. Pretty? Pretty? What exactly makes one look pretty when one is riding? Is it the dusty hands covered in …
Tues: No Sooze
WITH ALL DUE REZPECKT TO MR P CRAWLEY It's all material now, isn't it? Or, even better, fodder. Trying to 'schedule me', review-wise, for the Dublin Theatre Festival, Irish Theatre Magazine's online emperor Peter Crawley came up against my Hadrian's Wall of Tuesday Night. [I'm sure he can supply a better metaphor, in the comments, …
Is it Bullshit?
INSTALLMENT ONE The thing is, it can seem like bullshit, because I read the books, I’ve read all these books about the transcendence of horsewomanship, of the bond, of the communication, and here’s me, handed a school horse, told to get on, told to ride a twenty meter circle, a serpentine, a figure of eight, …
How Many Falls Make a Rider?
CATALOGUE OF FALLS Heidi said a hundred! But Sara was like, noooo— seven. Seven falls make a rider. I seem to remember coming across the number ten, on a horsey board on the internet… Gooooogle… hmm. Nothing. I’ll check again [I should really be working…]— ack, some nutter on Yahoo! Answers said 1,000! No way! …
Fall the First
CATALOGUE OF FALLS Thursday night lesson, outdoor arena. Beautiful evening, spring is sprung, golden light. Six are in the lesson. I’m on Delilah, Charlie is first, then Rebel, then us. Emma is making us trot large in jumping position. I’m trying to break the mane-grabbing habit, and we come around F and I’m shortening the …
MANY BRAVE FOOLS 