CATALOGUE OF FALLS Heidi said a hundred! But Sara was like, noooo— seven. Seven falls make a rider. I seem to remember coming across the number ten, on a horsey board on the internet… Gooooogle… hmm. Nothing. I’ll check again [I should really be working…]— ack, some nutter on Yahoo! Answers said 1,000! No way! …
Fall the First
CATALOGUE OF FALLS Thursday night lesson, outdoor arena. Beautiful evening, spring is sprung, golden light. Six are in the lesson. I’m on Delilah, Charlie is first, then Rebel, then us. Emma is making us trot large in jumping position. I’m trying to break the mane-grabbing habit, and we come around F and I’m shortening the …
Some La-La Land of Inter-Species Mind Meld
22, SEPTEMBER 2007 Yeeeeah, there’s that cynicism that I mentioned. It’s the part of me that stands outside of experience— any experience— coolly observes throughout, and then proceeds to examine it to death, mostly, I suppose, to stop me over-emoting in any given situation. Which is, in turn, ridiculous because I come at everything, every …
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My First Go On Delilah
THE STUFF THEY WRITE ABOUT IN BOOKS Smoking out front of Dakota with Fiachra and Karl at Brenda’s emigration-to-Australia do, the talk turned to horses— I didn’t do it! Did I? How is it that anybody talks to me anymore? I tell this story: Nikki walks into the barn with the list. I’d been thinking— …
I Trot, Therefore I Am
MY SECOND LESSON [16 SEPTEMBER, 2007] I’ve been thinking about trotting all week. Everyday. Waiting for the bus, walking to get a salad at lunch, staring ahead of myself, bored, at work. Some of the seemingly unintelligible sounds issuing from the mouth of last Saturday’s instructor [this is the correct term, not teacher] appear to …
Rebel, Instead
I suppose I could have reminded Fiona that I'd asked for Charlie. I am rather more... assertive than many of the other riders, when it comes to the allocation of school horses. But, eh, I don't know— no, I do know. I'm putting off my trial-by-Charlie until— until whenever. So Fiona says, 'You're on Rebel,' …
Charlie
I’ll probably be on Charlie tonight. You can’t miss him: his 17hh frame notwithstanding, he’s got presence, elegance, he’s sensitive, he’s a gentleman. He’s also a bugger to ride. For me, anyway. I watch everybody else when they’re on him, and they’re fine. I’d had my eye on him for ages, knowing that I’d have …
Oh, No
18 SEPTEMBER, 2007 ‘Where’s Delilah?’ Nikki hitched a saddle up under her oxter. ‘Don’t know.’ I hate it when I can’t find one of the horses. I think the worst, immediately: she’s hurt, she’s dead— she died and I didn’t get to say goodbye— ‘Not in the stalls?’ ‘I checked. I’ll look in the back, …
There’s Always a First Time
9 SEPTEMBER, 2006 The wee girls circle round and round, legs pounding the sides of their ponies, and I am feeling breathless. As excited as I was to take my first horse riding lesson, well— I’d actually have to be on a horse to have it, and they’re big, aren’t they, and watching those kids …
Getting Up There
MARCH, 2007 I have finally gone beyond standing next to the horse like a pillock. A great, stupid, beginner pillock. A pillock looking gormless [although by definition one doubts a pillock can be considered to have gorm], waiting to be told to get up there, instructor bringing over the block, holding the horse, leaning on …