Tues: No Sooze

WITH ALL DUE REZPECKT TO MR P CRAWLEY It's all material now, isn't it? Or, even better, fodder. Trying to 'schedule me', review-wise, for the Dublin Theatre Festival, Irish Theatre Magazine's online emperor Peter Crawley came up against my Hadrian's Wall of Tuesday Night. [I'm sure he can supply a better metaphor, in the comments, …

Is it Bullshit?

INSTALLMENT ONE The thing is, it can seem like bullshit, because I read the books, I’ve read all these books about the transcendence of horsewomanship, of the bond, of the communication, and here’s me, handed a school horse, told to get on, told to ride a twenty meter circle, a serpentine, a figure of eight, …

How Many Falls Make a Rider?

CATALOGUE OF FALLS Heidi said a hundred! But Sara was like, noooo— seven. Seven falls make a rider. I seem to remember coming across the number ten, on a horsey board on the internet… Gooooogle… hmm. Nothing. I’ll check again [I should really be working…]— ack, some nutter on Yahoo! Answers said 1,000! No way! …

Fall the First

CATALOGUE OF FALLS Thursday night lesson, outdoor arena. Beautiful evening, spring is sprung, golden light. Six are in the lesson. I’m on Delilah, Charlie is first, then Rebel, then us. Emma is making us trot large in jumping position. I’m trying to break the mane-grabbing habit, and we come around F and I’m shortening the …

Some La-La Land of Inter-Species Mind Meld

22, SEPTEMBER 2007 Yeeeeah, there’s that cynicism that I mentioned. It’s the part of me that stands outside of experience— any experience— coolly observes throughout, and then proceeds to examine it to death, mostly, I suppose, to stop me over-emoting in any given situation. Which is, in turn, ridiculous because I come at everything, every …

My First Go On Delilah

THE STUFF THEY WRITE ABOUT IN BOOKS Smoking out front of Dakota with Fiachra and Karl at Brenda’s emigration-to-Australia do, the talk turned to horses— I didn’t do it! Did I? How is it that anybody talks to me anymore? I tell this story: Nikki walks into the barn with the list. I’d been thinking— …

I Trot, Therefore I Am

MY SECOND LESSON [16 SEPTEMBER, 2007] I’ve been thinking about trotting all week. Everyday. Waiting for the bus, walking to get a salad at lunch, staring ahead of myself, bored, at work. Some of the seemingly unintelligible sounds issuing from the mouth of last Saturday’s instructor [this is the correct term, not teacher] appear to …

Rebel, Instead

I suppose I could have reminded Fiona that I'd asked for Charlie. I am rather more... assertive than many of the other riders, when it comes to the allocation of school horses. But, eh, I don't know— no, I do know. I'm putting off my trial-by-Charlie until— until whenever. So Fiona says, 'You're on Rebel,' …

Charlie

I’ll probably be on Charlie tonight. You can’t miss him: his 17hh frame notwithstanding, he’s got presence, elegance, he’s sensitive, he’s a gentleman. He’s also a bugger to ride. For me, anyway. I watch everybody else when they’re on him, and they’re fine. I’d had my eye on him for ages, knowing that I’d have …

Oh, No

18 SEPTEMBER, 2007 ‘Where’s Delilah?’ Nikki hitched a saddle up under her oxter. ‘Don’t know.’ I hate it when I can’t find one of the horses. I think the worst, immediately: she’s hurt, she’s dead— she died and I didn’t get to say goodbye— ‘Not in the stalls?’ ‘I checked. I’ll look in the back, …