Mama Needs a Brand New Bag

THE SAGA CONTINUES My buzzer rang unexpectedly this morning. The speaker phone revealed a man holding a long, skinny, handful of bubble wrap—

It was my new whips. 100cms long. 43 inches.

Children are 43 inches long. Shite. The crops are lovely, though, long, thin, with a squiggly little bit of something at the end. The grip is substantial, and the length is… really long.

Given what happened to the Amazing and Magical Stick of Wonder, I’m going to hesitate in naming this one. I’ve got a wingman, regardless [oops, now that one’s got a name, how will I resist…]

And I’m not going to risk either of them slipping out of my hands. On Tuesday, I couldn’t help but cast my eye round the LUAS tracks, hoping against hope… anyway, I think a suitably long backpack is in order. If the thing sticks out the top— which I suspect it will— I’m the only one who’s going to get knocked about the head.

Geez, it’s long. We’ll see what Reb thinks on Saturday.

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